My Story

On August 20, 2007, my eldest son suffered a traumatic brain injury as a result of a skateboarding accident. After making a 5 hour trip in 4 hours, our family gathered at Kevin's bedside. Those early morning hours were spent keeping my worst fears at bay and praying for Kevin's recovery.



I spent each minute and hour of the next 6 days trying to absorb a new level of hell.

Ok, let's get Kevin healthy and back to school before class starts.

Ok, let's get Kevin healthy and back to school before too many classes pass.

I wonder how late we can register Kevin.

Ok, Kevin will probably have to miss the first semester.

Ok, Kevin can miss this year and go next year.

I hope Kevin can go to school again.

Dear God, please, Kevin can't die

Kevin died on August, 27, 2007.



Now what? What do you do when your child dies? I didn't know what to do, what I wanted to do, where to go or what to say. I literally couldn't see color, could barely move, couldn't think or remember anything. I felt like I was moving through pudding and a thick fog. I felt devastated, like a fire had rampaged through my body destroying everything in me and everything I thought was true. "I" didn't exist and I didn't know anybody like me.



Fast forward 6 months through lots of counseling, reading, writing and running. I had decided to run a half marathon and started my training in December. Running allowed me space to think about things. Thoughts/plans/ideas started to form in my brain. I knew that:

* Giving to others during this terrible time made me feel better.
* Seeking out and spending time with people facing similar circumstances made me feel better.
* Running made me feel better.
* Reading allowed me to gain coping skills.
* Taking on a project to honor Kevin made me feel much better.



I also quickly discovered that I wasn't alone in thinking that my child still had a gift to share with the world. I read articles in the paper about others facing the loss of their loved ones and they often talked about the special gifts of their loved ones, what their loved ones had taught them or the loss to their community.



Heroesripple.com was born on a 2 mile run. I wanted to create a space for people to visit that would be a little different than other grief or loss sites. I wanted to create a space for families and friends to celebrate their loved ones. I want people to have a space to share their profound stories about what their loved ones taught them in their living and their dying. I believe that every day we lose heroes and the things that they would have shared with the world. I believe that our loved ones are very definitely heroes - some because of heroic acts, some because of organ donation, some because they taught us incredible lessons and some because of their ability to love.



I also wanted a space where people could share what they were doing to remember their loved one. Whatever that something is, I wanted a space for people to put their ideas down and receive encouragement from others. Grieving people are the bravest people I know. They will take on any project. They are also the most fragile. Encouragement, acknowledgement and compassion can go a long way to fuel a grieving person. Whether your goal is to create a scholarship, hold an event, change a law, establish a non profit or whatever else you are pulled to do, I want you to know you have cheerleaders. You have cheerleaders in your community, in your state, in your nation, on the web and in me.



Finally, helping others helped me. I know it might sound crazy, but stepping outside of my situation to help others helped me get a bigger picture of loss...and living. You will find a resource listing of organizations that can assist you and organizations that can use your assistance. When the time is right for you, think about helping out that organization that helped you or your loved one. The list will grow from your recommendations of organizations that provided assistance to you.



This is my way to give back to the people who have helped me. My goal is that the site provide you comfort during a dark time, that it provide tools for learning to live with loss and that you feel part of a community that cares very deeply for you are yours.



Kim

December, 2008