December, 08th 2008

The other day I heard about a family that was in upheaval due to the loss of a job by one of the parents. I was filled with sadness for this family and their unsure future. I also thought "I am so blessed".

It took a few minutes for this thought to sink in. Me blessed? Most people would not think of my life as blessed. I lost a child. How could I ever think of my life as blessed?

By and large, I hold the belief that my life is blessed. I have sad and depressing days, but those are moments in my life. I grew up in a great home. I have had great experiences. I married a man I love and continue to love. I spent 21 years with an amazing human being who taught me much about life. I have 2 incredible children that bring light and laughter to my life. I have been in direct contact with one of the recipients of Kevin's gift of life. I intend to grow old gracefully with my husband and watch my children grow up and embrace their futures. I hope that I have experienced the worst that life has to offer, but I don't count on it.

Panta Rei. Life flows or Life changes. You can love life, but hate the instance that it changes from what you desire. I hated the instance of my son's accident and death. I mourn the passing of his life and the absence of his being in my life, but I love the life that I will continue to live.


those rivers one steps into are not the same. other and yet other waters keep flowing on.

into the same rivers we step and yet we do not step, we exist and at the same time we do not exist

after all, one does not step into the same river twice. waters disperse and come together again ... they keep flowing on and flowing away

in the end, there is only flux, everything gives way

everything is in flux and nothing abides

everything flows and nothing stays fixed

everything is constantly changing and nothing stays the same

Heraclitus